A step by step process for building

self-confidence in children aged 10-15

1. Look for something the child has done well - find something specific. This works better than making general statements about how well they are doing.
2. Show your approval both verbally and non-verbally. Smiles and applause can convey as much as words.
3. Describe the positive aspects of what you have observed. Make sure you use positive words, not negative ones. (For example, 'It was wonderful that you listened to the instructions during the entire session', rather than 'Thank you for not being noisy').
4. Use external rewards as appropriate. Find out what the teenager would like as a special treat.
5. Help the child learn to reward him/herself when something is done well. Self-motivation leads to internal motivation. (For example, students who reward themselves with 15-25 min of games session after successfully completing a difficult technical session.)
6. Praise persistence and effort rather that ability and intelligence. Point out the results of working hard. Encourage the child to stick at a hard task. Show the relationships between actions and outcomes.
7. Point out the value and positive results of good social skills, such as: listening to others, good manners, taking turns, developing a sense of humor, using appropriate language, and accepting and appreciating differences.